Nice Goals

I was cleaning out my room in my Mom's house a few days ago and stumbled upon an old notebook from college. It had a list of "Brett's Goals for the 1st Semester". Not sure which year it was, but I'm thinking Sophomore or Junior. Anyways, see if you notice a pattern.

1. Attend All Classes
2. Get a 3.5
3. Do a lot better job of studying
4. Don't procrastinate
5. Budget time better, don't waste time
6. Keep in touch at home
7. Support House
8. Don't waste money
9. Run 5 days a week
10. Try not to be such an idiot all the time.
11. Have fun
12. Try to cut down TV time
13. Increase Quiet times
14. Read more
15. Eat better
16. Be more outgoing

Hello! Do any of those stand out to you? Maybe the one in bold. That's the point of the bold. It's to highlight that my "goal" was dripping with such accusation and self-hatred that it jumped off the page when I reread it.

I also noticed that several others were written from a negative perspective. I felt the lack of love in this has soon as I started reading. I felt nervous and anxious, disappointment in myself and just so much more baggage.

Even in the midst of this, there was some wisdom, but it was covered in the demon dung.
My struggles with discipline, time management, healthy living in terms of food and exercise, sound finances, maintaining relationships were also apparent. I was self aware, but away from the Lord, had no chance with them. The Accusation, Unloving and Rejection were at the root of these "goals", not God's love.

Let's just say when I start back at UC full time this fall, I'll be writing some relying on someone else to help me develop my goals. Thankfully, life is like that notebook. With God's help, you can rip out the negative accusations and self-hate and still have plenty of white space to create.

I'm feeling very good about that.